Bubbles Verses Baby Books

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bubbles v baby books

O.k so every mum knows the step into motherhood is like being fed to the lions. The step into the unknown, all those mixed and confused feelings that no one ever tells you about. Its no wonder the baby book industry is a multi-billion pound business.

We need all the help we can get right???? So what do we do??? We reach for the help books and woooooo is there a lot. From sleep routines to baby feeding from how to raise the perfectly content babies to the women who think they’re actually baby whispers I mean the list goes!

Right let me stop here a min –

Before we start this is in no way a bashing of any of these books. They all have there place and as you all know I’m a huge believer at applauding others successes, especially the mummy bosses but some of this invaluable advise from lets face it 9/10 times women who haven’t even had children can sometimes come with a huge price tag …..

Sound familiar??

It’s 10pm, I’ve followed the book to the word, and it’s my bible to motherhood. Baby was fed and bathed and settled in a dark room by 7pm. All the days naps have been monitored so that this could happen, I mean I’m sticking to this routine religiously.
The house is a mess and my husband went without dinner as nowhere in the book did it say I would have time to do that but hey who needs to eat anyway and once I’ve tidied up it’ll just be a mess again. The main thing is the baby is asleep I’m winning at life!

Exhausted I fall into bed starving but happy……..

Then it starts …..

First a whimper than a cry. I look at my clock … 1am!!!! …

Up I jump and try and settle baby but 2 hours in and it’s quite clear the last thing this baby has in mind is sleep.
I try everything …..
• I leave her to cry
• I feed her
• I rock her
• I don’t rock her
• I give her a dummy
• I take it away
• White noise
• No noise
• Change her nappy reset and start again

I’m out of ideas!!!!!!!!!

I search desperately through my book looking for the page where the baby parties all night. I mean I must have missed it….

Nope… Nope it’s not here …

Why is my baby not doing what the book says she should be?? I followed it step by step
Day 4 of motherhood and I’M A FAILIURE. My baby isn’t normal.

Finally we both fall asleep sobbing.

Now mammas….. See where we’re going here??

Yes with my 1st baby I read every book going and more!

Sleep
Weaning
Development
Ect ect ect

Now as I’ve already said don’t get me wrong these books do hold some truths and helpful suggestions but by baby number 3 I’d ditched the books in favour for a cup of green tea ( actually most nights a glass of bubbles ) and something a lot more rewarding _ ME TIME!!!

Yes …..I started concentrating on me! Swapping the go organic for your baby books for self – development and books that built my confidence to be the best mum I could be for me!!!

You see mammas we’re not raising robots here! We’re raising little humans with amazing little minds.
Just as you feel crappy sometimes so do they …
Just like you don/t feel like eating certain foods sometimes neither do they

Let’s treat them like little individuals and not these robots the books want them to be.

ROUTINE!!!
Yes yes (and I can’t stress this more) routine is so important and it really does make for both a happy baby and a happy mamma . But make it your routine not someone else’s.

My babies religiously go to bed at 6pm because yes in fact I am a little selfish and I do want a glass of wine and ‘special cuddles’ with my husband at night (we’ll be talking date nights later)

Yes my children wake up at 6 am because they know daddy leaves the house early and they like morning cuddles and to wave him off to work. Does that make it wrong???? _ No because it’s our routine

FEEDING
One of my babies I only gave purees, one I gave puree and baby led and the third one I only baby led weaned.
Apart from one being messier than the other I honesty can’t see any difference in their eating habits.

Two of my children love eggs, the other one doesn’t
One of my children eats bread the other two aren’t fussed
One orders pasta when we’re dining out one fish and the other chicken
None of them like red meat
All of them like sweets!

Does this make them fussy eaters???? NO it makes them individual

Sleep
I’ve practiced the same bedtime routine with all of my children
2 are great sleepers and one isn’t.

One is an early riser.
One likes to lie in.
One likes an 11pm cuddle (it’s a boy thing)
All of them go down to sleep with no questions at 6pm
– Have I failed as a mother that my kids don’t do 7 to 7??
NO!!!!

So you see girls, parenting isn’t about following a book word for word
It’s about raising a happy confident child YOUR way. For years I was made to feel like a failure and a bad mum for just doing it my way

THE CONCLUSION IS WE’RE ALL GREAT MUMS!!!!!!!

We’re all raising little humans with their own personalities
Every child is different
Yes we can put routines in place but they need to be our individual routines suited to our family lives
Your child your rules
Just because old Lisa down the roads child doesn’t do it, it’s not wrong!!!!
Stop comparing yourself to the perfect parents – Every one of you is perfect in your own way.

Any one who tells you their child has slept through the night every single night since birth is lying. ( oh and FYI saying your baby is sleeping through from a week old but they wake up at 11 pm and 5 am is not in my eyes sleeping through!!! ) Don’t be fooled by those mammas girls!!! sleeping through is 7-7 in my books!!!!!!!
Anyone who says they’ve never given their child food from a tin is lying.
Anyone who portrays the perfect mummy life / child balance in all honesty is just trying to be like the rest of us and is more than likely feeling like a failure too!!!!

SO GIRLS – PUT DOWN THE BOOKS – PICK UP THE WINE AND CHEERS TO CONFIDENT MAMMAS DOING IT YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!

Until tomorrow lovelies 

xxxx lots of love Rach 

ps – Don’t forget to comment below with suggestions for future post topics girls xxx

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10 Comments

  1. K says:

    Such a true and real account. If we are all honest nuns we’ve all been there but never wanted to admit it to the outside world. Instead creating a perfect image that everything is under control in the house.

    Every child is different and what works for one doesn’t work for the other. So as you say and I totally agree, there’s no rule book (lots of great advice tho) but it’s diwn to you and your instincts and what works. Routine is absolutely essential – but define your own routine.

    Can’t wait for the next blog, loving the realism and honesty and the bubbles too!

    1. Rachael Lalji says:

      ahrr thank you babe xxx

  2. Olivia says:

    Amazing and all so true !! I actually bought a book titled why does my baby cry I should have spent the money on wine instead !!

    1. Rachael Lalji says:

      haha i learnt very quickly to always choose the wine hunni xxxxx

  3. Gemma says:

    Ahhhhhh this is an amazing bedtime read tonight!

    Well done!!!!!

    1. Rachael Lalji says:

      Thank you lovely lady xxx

  4. Hollie says:

    Babe! This is just what i needed to read!!

    As fellow mothers and women we should be supporting each other and building each other up! Enough with the my kids better than yours bullshit!

    Thank you!!!
    Ps. Your 3 are beautiful and perfect!

    1. Rachael Lalji says:

      Thank you so much babe – and totally right! This mummy thing is hard enough as it is without feeling like everything you’re doing is wrong xxxxx

  5. Trish says:

    Good honest advice the fact you have 3 little ones gives you credibility. I like that you recognise that despite similar routines with all each child can respond differently. Children have stages where they sleep or eat well and then suddenly go the opposite sometimes for no obvious reason it’s not anything Mumma has done just life. Your recognition that Mumma needs to feel good and has grown up time is key and enables her to better cope with the joys and tribulations of youngsters.
    How about sharing your quick tips on how to look good even with 3 little ones. When mine were young some days I didn’t want to open the door to anyone as I looked like I had just got out of bed!
    Great read

    1. Rachael Lalji says:

      Thank you Trish – I recently did a post on the ever ready mummy as lots of people were asking about exactly the same thing – xxxx

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